Operation Save the Dream Lite

November 1, 2014 HandMeDowns1 Comment

Siri, please define Poop-tastrophy

This is a surprise event that typically occurs within the confines of your child’s crib, car seat, or whatever other location said child happens to be in at the moment of occurrence. This is most often associated with detailed fingerprinting murals with a substance that resembles chocolate, I assure you that this is not indeed chocolate, please refrain from testing my knowledge. Most often there is a gag inducing smell involved.

Interventions should include donning a hazourdous waste material suit. Proceed to remove said child from the event location and wash thoroughly. Feel free to vomit as needed, but remove hazmat mask first. After said child is scrubbed free of debris you may turn your attention to the event site. This is best dealt with by retrieving offended items with kitchen tongs (to be thrown away after) and placing them gently in a garbage bag never to be seen again.

Practices to prevent poop-tastrophy from reoccurring: NEVER put said child to bed in two piece Jammie’s again.

Scout didn't survive :-( NO amount of "gentle scrubbing by hand" was gonna save him... — Scout didn’t survive 😦 NO amount of “gentle scrubbing by hand” was gonna save him…

So after finding my sweet cherub cheeked nudist playing in his poo, I freaked out. I had to scrub every inch of his crib, and inspect each and every toy that he may have included in his excrement excitement. I will admit that several toys did go straight into the garbage can, including his favorite buddy Scout (He was quickly replaced by one of his loving grandmas).

Scout was not the only participant in the poo party, little man had also included his second favorite toy, his Dream Light. This is a lovely pillow type stuffed animal with an electronic battery operated light that glows in the middle of it. There is also a little tag that says HAND WASH ONLY in menacing letters. Great for bedtime snuggles, nightmare for mommy to clean. Yet I was determined. What’s a determined mommy to do when she has no idea how to do it? Grab a screw driver a hammer and have at it!

Cue mission impossible music

You will need a screw driver, but you won’t need a hammer, unless you get frustrated……

1. Pop dream lite top off. Difficulty rating 1 out of 10, unless being helped by a know it all four year old
2. Unscrew screws, there are 8 of them. Place these in a secure location. Do not, I repeat, do NOT let four year old hold screws no matter how much she begs. Or you will spend the next 20 minutes on your hands and knees.

3. The top frame pops off the bottom frame. Gently tug the two tabs inside to release it. If gently tugging doesn’t work, feel free to take it pent up aggression and rip the sucker off. I cant guarantee success if that route is chosen. Once it’s free, flip him on over.

4. Unscrew screws, there are 6 of them. The four year old has probably disappeared and been replaced by little brother. Do not offer screws to him to hold or you will be waiting a loooong time for them to reappear.

5. Pull light box out! Pat yourself on the back, do a happy dance, eat a cookie or 6, however you want to celebrate the completion of a successful mission!

Follow the steps backwards after washing and drying to put him back together again? It is VERY important to make sure the fabric is caught between the top and bottom frame. Here’s you a photo of the easiest way to do it.

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Recipes · Uncategorized

Pumpkin No Bake Cookies

November 1, 2014November 5, 2014 HandMeDowns2 Comments

The great things about seasons is that they bring about change. The weather cycles through cold to hot and back again. Sweaters and jeans are traded in for articles of clothing that contain much less fabric. Our favorite shows begin and end, the holidays come and go, the plants and animals even join in, in their own way. Walmart transforms its shelves to stay a holiday ahead throughout the year and our favorite treats appear and disappear.

For some the arrival of fall brings with it the joy of everything pumpkin. Pumpkin coffee, pumpkin candy, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin cake; you name it, it can be pumpkin-fied. I personally hate pumpkin, don’t like the way it tastes or smells. I have tried, I really have! I’ve taken “no thank you portions” of delicious looking deserts, sips of pumpkin infused drinks, I have even baked with pumpkin and nothing, until these……

My husband LOVES pumpkin, and being the amazing wife I am, I was looking through Pinterest for recipes that he might enjoy. And I found it, THE recipe; Pumpkin Spice No Bake Cookies. They are made from so much delicious good stuff that I actually didn’t mind the pumpkin. As a matter of fact, I liked it! I liked it soooo much that I made more, a lot more. Aside from the enormous amounts of butter and sugar, the secret that makes these so divine is Pumpkin Spice Pudding!

(Before I share this recipe with you, I need you to know that it may be difficult to find the key ingredient as a woman fitting my description has been seen purchasing multiple boxes of said pudding mix. I will neither confirm nor deny that it was myself)

You can get the full ingredient list and directions for these cookies at Once A Month Meals. Im gonna just break it down, real simple for you here. You take sugar, brown sugar, butter and milk and turn it into soup. If you can refrain from grabbing a ladle and lapping it up, let it boil. Stir in pudding mix, pumpkin spice (the spice) vanilla and quick oats. Spoon blobs onto wax paper and allow to cool. This step may be difficult as you already have a spoon in your hand, you may be tempted to place scoops directly into your mouth instead of on the wax paper. Once cooled enjoy, and share if you wish, or don’t, I won’t judge.

Until you can get there and partake of this gooey goodness yourself here are a few photos to hold you over. Please refrain from licking the computer screen, as it may lead to an awkward conversation between you and those around you.

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Mommy Lessons · Uncategorized

Mommy Lesson 313: Say Ahhhhhh

October 27, 2014October 27, 2014 HandMeDowns1 Comment

I am a nurse. I have no doubt that children who’s parents work in the medical field are different than children who’s parents do not. I even found proof in an articles that list 21 signs you were raised by a nurse; my children meet the majority of the criteria. They have toys like stethoscopes, empty syringes (with no needles), face masks, gloves, tongue depressors, and other nurse paraphernalia. My children have been taught appropriate terminology for specific body parts (I’m sorry in advance if they share this information with your child). My daughter uses terms and phrases such as, “I’ve been injured”, “should we amputate”, and “I think I’ll survive”.

As a mom who is also a nurse, I have an adequately stocked medicine cabinet. It is clearly labeled with a bin specifically for children and a bin for adults. I have a drawer for medicine administration complete with syringes and medicine cups. Need a pill crusher? I’ve got one of those too. I have a lovely little canvas organizer labeled “emergencies” complete with rubbing alcohol, gauze, bandages, antibiotic ointment and the like. On the top shelf is a set of sheets for the kids bed and an ice bucket which traveled home with us from a hotel room the weekend my husband and I went away for our anniversary and he spent most of it puking his guts up. It is labeled, emesis.

My daughter takes after her mother, she loves go take care of things. She can often be found with a menagerie of stuffed animals making them feel better. She can perform a full head to toe assessment in ten seconds flat and can diagnose and prescribe treatment within the next minute. When she grows tired of the stuffed animals, or feels the need for a challenge she will frequently turn her attention to the dog. If she is satisfied that all of her toys and pets have been adequately cared for and still has a hankerin’ to provide some medical attention, she will approach myself or her daddy.

Today provided her with with a relatively low patient census, so she offered me her services and medical expertise. I sat in the living room folding matching socks when she approached with a concerned look on her face.

“Oh mommy, you don’t look so good, I think you need a checkup”.

“Oh, wow, thanks honey, that was sweet” I said with a slight sarcastic undertone. I sat patiently while she listened to my heart beat, checked my eyes and ears. She felt my forehead with the back of her hand and then cheek to rule out a raging fever.

“Say Ahhhhhhh” she demanded, I complied, and she peered inside with a furrowed brow. “I’m going to have to take your temperature” before I could refuse she expertly crammed a purple painted Popsicle stick into my mouth.

She yanked the soggy stick out and glanced at it. She dismissively waved her hand at me, “You’re fine mommy”, I was clear to proceed about my business. She gathered her supplies and spied the dog. I turned my attention back to the socks only half listening to her chatter. The dog had already had multiple assessment throughout the day, and although she appeared to be pouting, she sat patiently, waiting for her clean bill of health.

I glanced up when I heard a disgruntled snort escape from the snobby shitzu and found Dr. A with a very familiar purple Popsicle stick pressed against the cranky canines butt. I stared at her with a combination of shock and horror flitting through my brain.

“Ummm, peanut, whatchya doin?” I squeaked. “Im checking Mya’s temperature, but don’t worry, I’m only putting it on her butt, not in it like you have to do with brother.”

Please please PLEASE don’t answer the next question with yes, I thought to myself. “Oh, well, okay, uuuhhh, this is the first time you have checked her temperature right? I mean you didn’t check it before you checked mommy’s temperature?”

“Well yea, she had a fever earlier when I checked it, so I wanted to recheck it. I also had to use it to look in her mouth.” She stared at me, gauging my reaction.

“Uhoh, mommy, do you need the emesis bucket?” She came over to pat my shoulder.

“No honey, mommy is just going go brush her teeth…..for an hour…..or six…possibly with bleach…”

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Down syndrome

For The Days You Remember

October 23, 2014 HandMeDowns2 Comments

In Sometimes I Forget I wrote about how easy it to forget sometimes, that our son has Down syndrome. There are some days that the fact he has Down syndrome is no different than the fact that he has blue eyes, or blonde hair. It’s there, but no big deal. It is such a small part of him, that it’s easy to forget, until I remember.

Sometime I remember and am in awe at all he has overcome. I am inspired by his determination and will. I am proud if his accomplishments and achievements. I am confident that he can conquer anything that this world has for him. I am entranced by his laughing eyes and goofy antics. I am captivated by the unconditional love that he and his sister show towards each other. Somedays I remember that I am the mom of a child with Down syndrome and I am completely okay with that.

Then some days I’m not. The realization of it grips my heart with such a fierceness that it seems to take my breath away. There is a heaviness that overcomes me as I look upon my son wishing that I could take away the extra chromosome. The one that reveals itself in his eyes, his walk, his speech. The one that forces him to work ten times harder than his “typical” peers to achieve. The one that makes him a target for glances that linger seconds too long and conversations uttered in hushed tones. The fear of the unknown coupled with worries for his future leave me paralyzed. Have I done enough? Can I do enough? To ensure that the world is changed enough for him to not just live and coexist in, but to thrive and excel and inspire.

There isn’t much that can be done to prevent those days. But for the days that you remember, and begin to feel overwhelmed, remember that you’re not alone. I have those days too. I find comfort from others who have beaten down the path before me. I find safety in walking neatly in their footsteps. Their words give me encouragement and hope that those days will become less and less as my child grows. I find security in holding my boy close and accepting the hugs and kisses he so freely give. To hold his hand in mine reassures me that together we will conquer all.

On the days that you remember, also remember how far you’ve come. Allow yourself to be reminded of the incredibleness that is your child. A being that was fearfully and wonderfully made. A son or daughter who has overcome insurmountable odds to even be here. Take a moment to remember the other days, the ones that occur more often, the days when you’re okay.

Because, you are. Even on the days you remember and you feel like you’re crumbling, just know that you’re okay. You’re not wrong in how you feel, you’re a mom, who wants what every other mom wants. This day will pass, you’ll go on and weeks will pass before another one. Then months and then years and eventually you will look back and wish you had known on those days that you remembered, that will be okay.

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Mommy Lesson 600: Peetunias

October 20, 2014October 23, 2014 HandMeDowns2 Comments

The typical infant can use up to 2,500 diapers in one year. That number will continue to decrease as baby grows into a toddler. Not soon enough for some of us. While potty training can be stressful for both parent and child, it brings with it a sense of pride, success and a variety of messy and embarrassing experiences. I have learned to take a “poop happens” approach, which means; poop will probably happen on the floor, in the car or the neighbors yard. There isn’t much you can do about it, except walk around following your potty training toddler with puppy pads, or a bucket, and then blog about mishaps later….

After an extended car ride to visit a friend in the hospital, Peanut was complaining about needing to go potty. We pulled into the parking lot and I assured her that once we got inside the building she could go potty. I proceeded to gather up brother, all necessary items and cram them into the stroller. This took much longer than usual, since Peanut was doing the peepee dance in the parking lot and I had to stop and pull up her pants and panties twice, explaining that we don’t just drop trow wherever we please.

With both kids fully clothed and in the stroller I rushed to the building. Daughter immediately jumped from the stroller and pointed at the big potted plant in the corner of the foyer and asked what that was. I hastily and distractedly whispered the answer to her and turned to the receptionist to ask for directions. Before she could complete the instructions she gasped and looked down to my left side. Thinking there might be a serious situation I turned immediately ready to assist where needed. I was alarmed to see my daughter with Minnie Mouse panties down around her sandals sitting in the potted plant relieving herself.

The thoughts rushed through my head. How exactly do I handle this? If I get her out of the floral arrangement she will undoubtedly peepee on the floor. But, I can’t really leave her there can I? Oh, my, gosh! What if she’s doing more than number 1? Is her face turning red, I can’t tell if she is smiling or pooping!

I rushed over, hoping to safe the lovely soiled flowers, and scooped her out of the “pottied” plant. I dusted her itty bitty butt off , thinking about what I was supposed to do and glancing frantically for a bucket to scoop the peepeed potting soil into. I adjusted her shorts and opened my mouth. (Let me explain to you, I’m not super great in situations like this. More often than not, what comes out of my mouth is just as much of a surprise to me as those whom I’m saying it too. Often when faced with with uncomfortable situation, I attempt to find the silver lining.)

“I am so very sorry, I ummm, well, ummm, hey, you know at least you don’t have to water it now” I babbled. The grim set line on the now less than helpful lady’s face was all I needed to know that she was less than thrilled with our plant care procedures. She hastily waved me away when I offered to help clean up, probably fearful that my daughter might get the urge to find another “pot”. As we quickly walked down the hall, Abi looked up at me, unconcerned and said, “Hey mommy, those flowers smelled really good, we should put some on our potty.”

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Mommy Lessons

Mommy Lesson 821: Mom-cation

October 18, 2014October 23, 2014 HandMeDowns3 Comments

Whether you’re a stay at home mom or a working mom there will come a moment where you may find yourself feeling slightly overwhelmed. There may be a mild sense of “mommy needs a break” beginning to creep in and you know that it is possible for it to turn into a full on Mommy Hulk attack. It could be related to the ever growing pile of laundry, the dishes that are evidently reproducing in the kitchen sink, or the childless neighbors that feel sleep is overrated and must impose their views on everyone within a ten mile radius.

You may walk through the house, with your name being called over and over;
Mommy watch this, look over here, turn this way, mommy see what I can do, mommy what’s for lunch, for dinner, for snack, what’s to eat for the next year? Mommy did you know if I shake my head from side to side like this really fast the whole room spins?

If you squint just right you imagine that this is how celebrities must feel when the paparazzi is around, eagerly calling their name, clamoring to get their photo. That is if they were wearing clothes that may or may not have baby excretions on it and if the photographers resemble Oompa Loompas. The visions of glamor and paparazzi subside as you expertly duck and dodge flying objects, which are aimed with surprising accuracy at your head. You unclench little fists that seem to be multiplying and attaching themselves with a vice like quality. If you have ever been attacked by an angry octopus, you can relate.

You may be struggling to detach the child who has apparently superglued themselves to your leg, when you realize that the original mild feeling of “mommy needs a break” has turned into a “mommy needs a break right freaking NOW” feeling. This feeling is slightly more intense than the previous feeling, coupled with a desire to laugh out loud like a hysterical loon.

First of all, take a deep breath, it totally okay to not love every single minute of being mommy. Keeping people alive is hard work, and you do a great job at it! Stay at home moms and working moms, hear me when I say: It’s totally okay to give yourself a break, and NOT feel guilty.

Second, we can’t all be amazing Pinterest mamas every single minute of every day. I have heard many times, “I just don’t know how you have time to do all those activities with your kids”. Let me tell you my secret, I don’t, I make time by not showering, doing laundry or washing dishes! (Not every day mind you, but we all have to make SOME sacrifices…)

Finally, I would like to share with you a little known secret call the Mom-cation. This is in no way like a vacation, it only sounds like it. It is however, a nice way to secure a quick break for yourself and ensure that everyone is alive when you return feeling refreshed and revitalized. Your Mom-cation can take place anywhere you would like it to and can be customized to fit your specific needs at that specific moment. I would love to share with you five of my favorite Mom-cation destinations:

The Mail Box:

You can take a nice little walk out to your mailbox or even your neighbors mailbox. It doesn’t matter if you’ve checked the mail sixteen times already and you know the postman has already been by, just take saunter on out there anyway. A little hope never hurt anyone! While you’re out there you could pull up a curb seat and get some fresh air. This Mom-cation will be over when you choose to return to the house or your children escape, typically naked, and run around the yard screaming.

The Bathroom:

It’s only gross if you haven’t cleaned it. This one may take a little more planning, if you only have one bathroom, you will need to ensure that all the little people have been adequately pottied. When you have insured that all bladders and bowels are emptied, grab your favorite snack, and casually say “I’m going to the bathroom”. This is actually quite pleasant if you have invested in a deliciously comfy rug! Kick back, enjoy your snack, and peruse Pinterest. You will know that this Mom-cation is over when your children gather outside the door like zombies and begin poking their fingers under the door.

The Store:

Like the previous Mom-cation, this one may require a bit more preparation. The next time you are at the store, pick up extras of the families most used non-perishable item. You can place them in a secured location in your vehicle or at a trusted friends house. This is best enacted when there is a trusted individual in the household to maintain live-ability of the children. This Mom-cation begins when you sadly look through the cabinet and announce that you have to go to the store, during the busiest time of the day. Leave the house, head to the nearest wifi hotspot and catch up on your latest show. You should probably limit this to a single episode before returning triumphantly with your pre-purchased loot.

The Errands

This one begins when your children have been left in the arms of a trusted care giver and you leave the house in your car. This Mom-cation can prove quite productive if you truly choose to tick items off of your list. The choices are limitless while you “Run Errands”. Go to your favorite restaurant and select a table for you and your best book, meet up with another mom on mom-cation or you can bring along a pillow and blanket and pull over for a nap! I personally love naps and am quite a talented sleeper.

The Dog Walk:

This is a bonus mom-cation for those of us brave enough to take on a family member of the four legged variety. While you are capable of walking a cat, lizard or gerbil, this best performed with a canine. The logistics are quite simple, with the children adequately supervised, you place your pet on their leash and proceed to walk them. If you have a snobby and moderately lazy dog like mine, you may want to avoid eye contact as you drag their stubborn butts down the sidewalk. This mom-cation gives you an opportunity to bond with your pet, I’ve heard gerbils are quite social, and soak up some Vitamin D. If you have a friend in the neighborhood, there is the option of stopping by there. If given enough notice I’m sure they will provide you with fresh baked cookies.

I want you to know that I adore my children, and I’m certain that you do to! However, I also need you to know that it’s okay to take a break every now and then. It’s important and even healthy to find time for YOU and not beat yourself up about it. Moms cannot continue taking care of everyone else, if they don’t take time to care for themselves too! It is beneficial for our children to see us taking care of ourselves. Understand, please, that I am not encouraging you to abandon your children or responsibilities. I am suggesting that you take some “me” time to decompress and appreciate yourself every so often, because you’re pretty amazing and you deserve it! Whether you choose to take one of my suggested Mom-cations or make up your own, give yourself a little break, and enjoy it!

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Down syndrome

Proposition to Disney…

October 16, 2014October 23, 2014 HandMeDowns3 Comments

When faced with situations that are unfamiliar or uncomfortable we often reach out to others for their support, encouragement or guidance. When a baby or toddler isn’t sure how to respond in a situation, you can often see them looking to their parents to gauge their reaction. It’s innate, we are not meant to face life’s challenges alone.

After receiving the news that our son would be born with Down syndrome, I sought out other parents who had walked the path I was now walking.
I found comfort in their congratulations, encouragement in their photos and hope in their stories. I gained friends from across the globe, friends who spoke the same language as I. We said things like Trisomy 21, early intervention, low tone and spoke in letters like OT, PT, and ST. I know that at any point, I can share my deepest darkest feelings with them and they GET it. The don’t judge, they get it, they’ve been there too.

I have had the opportunity to connected with many, even flying across the US to spend a week with an amazing friend, who wouldn’t be I’m my life had it not been for our sons. I am blessed to call many of them friends and confidantes. With Gabe came an entire tight knit community that spans continents. I am honored to be in a place where I can now, offer congratulations, encouragement and hope to new and expectant parents.

It is through this community that I happened upon a request to sign a petition. The parents of a sweet toddler named, Delaney Skye have made a simple request to Disney. They’re asking for Disney to offer role models that children with Down syndrome can relate to; role models that children of any ability can relate to.

Keston Ott-Dahl, Delaney’s mom and author, had this to say, “Disney has done such a great job inspiring children, generation after generation, to be good people. They are in a unique position to directly change the way future generations and societies view people with Down syndrome”.

Remember when I said that when in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations we often look to others for guidance? This is a perfect example! Ott-Dahl continues “Disney can teach future generations to be more compassionate and more accepting and in judgmental of kids who are not like them.”

This is the chance for the children of this and future generations to see their childhood role models supporting individuals with Down syndrome and maybe even having their own Trisomy 21 hero. Allowing children to see kids with Down syndrome as the hero or heroine is a perfect opportunity for Disney to assist in moving from awareness to acceptance. How inspiring it would be for a child with Down syndrome to see a child just like him or her save the world and be appreciated for their abilities?

I have seen this community move mountains, change lives and alter the perceptions of those around them. Here is a chance for you to help continue the forward progression towards acceptance by altering the views of a generation. I hope that you will take time to sign this petition and to eagerly wait with me for a hero or heroine who’s chromosomes don’t matter.

Click to sign Delayney’s petition

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Mommy Lessons

Mommy Lesson 612: Anatomically Correct

October 13, 2014October 23, 2014 HandMeDowns3 Comments

The smallest functioning unit in the human body is the cell. Every human body is made up of millions and millions of cells. Cells group together and form tissues, tissues form organs, organs form systems and the systems make up our bodies. While our makeup may be the same, the words we use to describe certain body parts may be quite different. For example a head could be known as a noggin, dome, hat rack, cranium or even melon.

There is no end to the alternate words that can used to describe our pieces and parts. Some are familiar; tummy, piggies, booty or peepers, while some are a little off the wall; pot, boats, meat hooks or noodle. My husband and I often use a variety of these words when discussing body parts with our little ones, but the one area that we have held firm to anatomical correctness is the penis. The nurse in me cannot bring myself to call it a peepee, wiener, weewee or Mr.Winkie.

When we brought our son home and bathed him for the first time, our very observant two year old pointed to, attempted to pull on, and asked “what’s that?”

“That is your brothers penis, boys have them, and we don’t pull on it” was my succinct response. As our son has grown, like most boys, he has developed an uncanny awareness and coordination related to his private parts. Within seconds of his diaper being removed, his little hands immediately travel south to reassure himself that his penis is indeed still there. When getting ready for the bath, a quick glance is not sufficient to provide reassurance, and a tug is seemingly necessary. On any given day the words “don’t pull on your penis” can be heard at least ten times around our house. Using correct terminology has its pros and cons, sometimes the cons can lead to a significant amount of embarrassment.

A few days ago we were standing in the checkout line at our local Walmart, the children were behaving and i was beaming with pride that we had made it through the store without incident. I efficiently sorted my items and placed them on the belt, frequently glancing at the kiddos, insuring they were still behaving like angels. I pulled my last two items out of the cart; Gabe was gleefully kicking his feet and Abi was thoughtfully staring off behind us. My attention was on the cashier, but I saw Abi tilt her head slightly out of the corner of my eye (this has become a common sign that unexpected is about to come of of her mouth). I turned in just enough time to hear her very matter of factly say,

“Mommy says we don’t pull on our penis”. I met the eyes of a gentleman who had just been caught mid-adjustment by my hyper observant preschooler.

With my face a flattering color of crimson, I attempted to organize my thoughts and explain;

“Um, so, um, well you see her brother is a boy, (obviously) and well like most guys he’s kind of enamored with his penis (they are right?) so we just remind him to, um, well, you know, not yank on it….”
He stared silently, mouth open, face the same color as the tomatoes I just purchased, with his wife laughing hysterically behind him. I paid and practically ran out of the store pulling Abi behind me.

I quickly explained to Abi, that while we tell brother not to do it, we shouldn’t really tell other people not to do it, because a penis is a private thing. Her response “well noses aren’t private, can I tell people we don’t pick them?”

Absolutely daughter, you go right on ahead and explain to the next person we see knuckle deep in their nostril that it is entirely inappropriate, mommy will just die of embarrassment.

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Down syndrome

Sometimes I Forget….

October 5, 2014October 23, 2014 HandMeDowns140 Comments

Sometimes I forget that our son has Down syndrome. It’s easy to be distracted by his two year old tantrums, his mischievous smile and go getter attitude. Gabe is kind hearted but stubborn. He immediately runs to check on sister when she is having a dramatic, I’m four and the world is over, meltdown. He will climb onto your lap randomly and stretch his little fingers up to stroke your cheek, just to say I love you.

He also destroys things. Opens drawers, pulls things out, throws them on floor. When you confront him, he ducks his head and looks up from under his eyebrows with a sort of sorry smirk. He helps pick up, sometimes, or wanders off to destroy something else. He loves music, he will start to dance the second he hears it. He absolutely cannot resist participating in a round of Itsy Bitsy, or Twinkle Twinkle, no matter how upset he may have been seconds before. Gabe can make music from anything, even the fireworks during the Fourth of July celebration.

Sometimes I forget, because Gabe is just that, Gabe. When I look at him I don’t see Down syndrome, I see my son, Abi’s brother, a sweet, willful, determined little boy.

Sometimes I forget, and that makes it even harder when someone reminds me in a not so kind way….

Like the cashier that gave me sad eyes and spit poison in a whisper,

“I bet you wish you had known before he came out. You know they have a test for that now…”

Shock, horror, hurt and fury coursed through my body. I considered jerking her over the register and beating her senseless. I looked her up and down, I could take her….

Instead I used whit: I smiled a crazy lady smile “I know right?! It’s so much harder to get rid of them once they come out. Believe ME I’ve tried…” Jackpot! Her mouth dropped open and she stared at me in shock. I leaned over the register and whispered to her,

“What you’re saying is that it’s okay for me to kill him while he’s inside, but not outside? In my book there isn’t a difference. For the record, we knew EVERYTHING about him during my pregnancy. He is our son now and he was our son then. There is no way in hell that I would let any harm come to either of my children. Including during the time that they’re so ridiculously considered disposable.

I had forgotten, that sometimes other people don’t immediately see Gabe, they see a “downs kid”. They see poor parents and a burdened sister. I sometimes forget until I glance up and see the pity in their eye, or hear the ignorant comments in not so hushed whispers.

I sometimes forget that it’s not their fault. They just DONT KNOW.

I sometimes forget that, that was me once too. What I knew about Down syndrome before we had Gabe, was what I’d learned from my nursing text books. It was only enough to leave me sobbing hysterically and envisioning a listless, immobile, incapable child.

Because I sometimes forget, is why months like October are so important to me. It gives our community a chance to spread awareness, to educate the public, to debunk the myths that are out there and show our children in a different light. It gives us a chance to move forward from just awareness to acceptance, so when were out in public and we are so taken by our children that we forget, that we aren’t reminded and shocked by the ignorance of others.

Sometimes Its easy to forget that our kids have Down syndrome. To us their just Gabe or AJ or Gavin or Max or Maddie. And that’s how it should be, and will be, if we continue to bring awareness and fight for acceptance; not just in October, but every day of the year.

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Down syndrome

#BlueNYellow

October 1, 2014October 23, 2014 HandMeDownsLeave a comment

In “Down syndrome Isn’t ” I talked about how October is Down syndrome Awareness month. This year the Down syndrome community is celebrating its 30th year of bringing awareness. I’ve read through a variety of posts throughout the day, lots of great ones out there! But, what I began seeing more and more as I read through these is a sense of dissatisfaction.

It’s not just enough anymore that we bring awareness, that ship has been sailing for 30 years. It’s time that we bring about acceptance. Meriah Nichols could be described in two words, amazing and courageous. She offered up a very specific challenge today in the form of a blog post:

“Let’s try to put our awareness into action and actively accept people with Down syndrome. Let’s try and move two steps past our comfort zone, whatever that might be.”

Not only has she challenged the public to transform their perceptions of what were celebrating in October, but she offers ideas on how to personally show that acceptance. The final words on her post are “Move past the awareness. Open your arms to acceptance“.

So here I am, nodding my head in agreement. I think it’s a great idea. When I take my children out, I don’t want people around him to only be aware that my son has Down syndrome, I want them to accept him for the incredible individual that he is. I want society to accept that chromosomes don’t determine worth or ability.

If you’ve watched tv today, I’m sure that you have seen pink everywhere. Do not misunderstand me, this is an important month for Breast Cancer awareness and the thousands of warriors out there. However, I’d like to see some yellow and blue too. Our community is beyond just bringing awareness, we require acceptance and want to be celebrated this month too. We’ve come so far in just these few years, lets see how far we can get in just 30 more days. I’d like to encourage you to include #BlueNYellow in your comments, posts and status updates related and unrelated to down syndrome. You can #BlueNYellow anywhere that you deem fit. Let see if we can move past awareness to acceptance and even acknowledgement!

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